I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
