I look better un-naked...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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