I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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