I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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