I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize