Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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