I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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