Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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