so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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