Plan B is the new Plan A
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
