she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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