Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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