better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
