Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
