Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
