I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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