its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
