so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize