hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
third nipple confirmed
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
