think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
