Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
