If that was your dad, he is hot
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize