girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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