Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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