Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
