How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
