also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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