it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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