Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
