not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
