Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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