at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
