don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
