it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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