I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I need to stop coming to work sober
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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