apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
