You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
