so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
