I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
40s are totally the cure
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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