Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
