just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
