And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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