I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
