trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
