When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
