i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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