And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
