that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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