At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
