she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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