I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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