Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...

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(616): View more from Michigan

They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar

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(517): View more from Michigan

you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

That's because you are an idiot.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.

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(914): View more from New York

Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame

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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.

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(316): View more from Kansas

IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore

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