Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
