nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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