i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
