Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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