Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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