we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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