Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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