Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
