I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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