fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
